I think back,
we were so innocent.
The laughter,
the smiles,
now forced.
Everything can
change in a second,
words,
tearing apart,
what was once strong.
Take me away,
tears dried.
Reverse the clock,
stop that cursor from hitting publish.
Take a look into the future,
what this would ruin,
how my life would crumble.
What you had,
what we had,
gone.
The tears fall softly,
without a sound.
Ice and regret,
all the regrets,
piling like so many poker chips,
my future.
My pain cuts though the night,
a sharp knife.
You walk by,
not noticing,
me staring after.
I try to save this,
pleading.
You give me nothing.
I am alone,
navigating lonely waters,
rain cutting into my skin.
The way we joked,
the way we laughed.
Our effortless companionship.
words flowing like water.
What we had,
the blooming flower of friendship.
I had to ruin it!
I had to burn the words that used to sustain me,
scream into the night.
3:00, 4:00,
a new day.
I doesn’t make a difference,
if it only tears us further apart.
Why?
Why did I have to tear apart
the last friendship I had left?
Why couldn’t I have taken counsel,
saved my words,
removed them from my life.
Why couldn't I keep the words
locked in the faulty vault
that is my mind?
Why?
My back is turned,
tears fall as I walk away.
I cut the last thread,
and now everything
is unraveling.