Phobia Boy | Teen Ink

Phobia Boy MAG

June 13, 2012
By noah9100 SILVER, La Quinta, California
noah9100 SILVER, La Quinta, California
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

My momma says I'm normal
But others disagree.
They say I'm panophobic
And I'd quite agree.

See panophobia's a little difficult:
Life can be a little tricky
When everything from A-Z
Freaks you out like it does for me

I wear minimal clothing because of vestiphobia
But I can't possibly be naked: I've got gymnophobia.

I promise I'm not racist, I'm just a xenophobic:
I've got Japanophobia
Alongside being a Francophobic.
Russophobia, Turcophobia, the list goes on,
But frankly and honestly, I just can stand them all.

I never leave home because of photophobia
Not to mention all those people:
Oh, my sociophobia.

I still can't sleep at home though
It's my oikophobia.
I'm better off awake: I've got somniphobia.

It's a miracle I'm writing this: as I'm a metrophobic:
Or that I even thought of this: since I'm a phronemophobic.

Neither cathisophobia nor cyberphobia helped me
As I wrote this in front of a computer, sitting on a chair.
Still, clearly I had no other choice: I have graphophobia.
Not to mention that I can't stand because of stasibasiphobia

My phobophobia makes me afraid of my own fears.
Still no irony compares to
The fear of long words:
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.

I'll end this soon: I can't have 13 stanzas
Or otherwise I'll freak out
Because of triskaidekaphobia.

But before that you may have noticed,

I've put in a dot at the end of every stanza
That's got one more than three lines,
See, I'm also a tetraphobic

As you can see trying to write a poem

Is difficult when you're a panophobic.
Still here I am
Despite that I'm scriptophobic.


The author's comments:
Humor Piece:satire on phobias.

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This article has 1 comment.


on Apr. 23 2013 at 7:30 pm
LayneCat SILVER, South Plainfield, New Jersey
9 articles 2 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.&rdquo;<br /> ― Oscar Wilde

I like this one.