Terrific! I really liked your imagery and descriptions! They were very vivid and your message at the end is very true!

And for the actual criticism part:

1. The beginning of the second line seems a bit awkward in context. Perhaps change it to "As it ascends to the heavens"?

2. In the third line, what is hidden by the sun? The feathers or the wings? Make that a bit clear.

3. The fifth and sixth lines were a bit confusing and awkward. More specifically, the sixth line. 

I really liked this. It was short, clear, and to the point. Very well-written!

I really detest TeenInk's formatting. Let's see if this is any better:

The eagle spreads its wings to soar up high,

Ascending to the heavens. Feathers drop

From giant wings, soon hidden by the blazing sun.

We look at this and squint our eyes, complaining.

We miss the beauty of the sun, intent

To find the brilliance of an eagle. Men

Are stupid, in that way--to look for something 

Less, and curse the Great outshining it.