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Aloof
Down the dark hole
There is a sight
A white kite
That has blown
Through winds
And sailed seas
That’s dreamed the dreams
Of heightened heaves
Shuddered in frost
Burned in heat
Orange leaves fall off the tress
Onto my hair
Highlights breezed
The swing it swings
As they grow weed
The moon returns
It has been through hell
You have cast a spell
My world trembles
Parallelisms curse
The shining gun
Has yet to shoot
Be careful
Too aloof
Not here
Parallelism is everywhere
I clench my fist with all my might
All I can do
Focus, stare
Ground myself
In roots and dirt
Feel my toes
Wet grease
Red nails
Tease
The chair is brown
The couch is blue
All I can do is think of you
Intensity is rare
Quite a scare
I can handle
Take -share?
Parallelism is care
Your doings
Like a tree
Affecting me
Not you. Just me
Don’t you see?
The voice it’s shrill
The buzz
It rings through streets
Hums through Villas
May seem far
But oh so close
Can’t you hear?
An overdose
It never heeds
Just push and shove
Through the crowds
Through gooey mud
Candles drip
Wax shrinks
Control is lost
Bursts the seed
Inside out
Leaving me
Brain commands
Desire stands
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I’ve been putting this off for far too long now. I guess it’s because I’m being too unrealistic. That’s probably why. I want to say something special, or at least original, and now I’m sounding weird. It’s 10:16PM. It may not say that when I post this because I’m on the west coast and Teen Ink’s times are all askew for me. But what was I saying? Right. Unrealistic me. I guess I’m sort of bad at responding to poetry because I hardly understand it myself, and I was completely stunned by your comment, by the way. People like you are the reason I’m so addicted to this site (it’s getting out of control. I’m supposed to be writing a novel…). I don’t even really care if people even mean what they say when they compliment me. I’d still feel awesome if I got a comment saying I suck at life, just because I'd know someone read something I wrote. It’s VALIDATION, that’s what it is. Someone out there acknowledging that you did something with your time.
Back on topic. This poem is profound. I can’t think of any other word to describe it. Except, maybe, beautiful. It has a wonderful sound when you read it out loud, and the rhymes almost catch you off guard (in a good way). The parallelism bit is fantastically witty. You can get lost in it, and that means the words are doing their job.
This comment is unnecessarily long. Like I said, I wanted to say something special. Or at least original. I’d say I accomplished that.