Unescorted and Alone | Teen Ink

Unescorted and Alone

March 12, 2012
By ImJustAGuy BRONZE, Oakland, California
ImJustAGuy BRONZE, Oakland, California
2 articles 0 photos 22 comments

He sat there unescorted and alone, at the rusted rooftop where they had shared their first kiss, looking out past the intrusion of skyscrapers into the sunset. It was wondrously beautiful just as she was. The effervescent colors illuminating the sky just as the colors of her eyes radiated her resplendent smile. He reminisced about their romance and the time they had consumed together. He recalled the bickering and how the uproar of the disagreements had lit up the dimness of their relationship which often led to a much more spirited love. He couldn’t quiet grasp the reason why she had left but he valued independence and so he valued their estrangement. He never asked for consent or permission, only forgiveness and she never asked for exorbitant gifts but he kept presenting her with them. The stains on his ragged slate jeans and the spatters on her scarlet skirt illustrated the relish of their time spent at the forsaken art studio at the corner of his street. They shared two summers together; comprehensive and eventful. Somedays they would spend hours together whether it was at her unruffled house or down by the windswept seaboard, but other days, not even a phone call would be received. He had never endured a love for someone quite like this, and with that came the fact that he had never endured a tragic separation like this. Clasping the beer he had purloined from his father’s fridge, he unfastened it and drank and drank and drank until there was no more beer. Until there was no more affectionate sentiments for her.

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This article has 10 comments.


on Jul. 18 2014 at 10:52 am
the-earth-between-our-toes SILVER, Wales, Other
6 articles 11 photos 29 comments
I think you would be able to publish a book one day. I love the way you write. Keep it up

on Jul. 3 2012 at 12:28 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;it&#039;s impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default.&quot;<br /> -J.K.Rowling

I loves the detail as well as the story line! Just an overall awesome poem! Would you mind commenting on my work...i need some tips!

AnnaX PLATINUM said...
on Apr. 30 2012 at 3:31 pm
AnnaX PLATINUM, Boston, Massachusetts
20 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;I write only because there is a voice within me that will not be still.&rdquo;

Hi,

I like the colorful description you incorporated into this piece of writing. It is very neat. :)


on Apr. 16 2012 at 4:53 pm
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments

I loved it! It was very descriptive! And don't give up! I betcha it will get in the magazines if you fix everything and look it over a couple of times! I really did enjoy reading this!

 

~ Free :)(:


on Mar. 21 2012 at 4:51 pm
SpreadUrWingzNFly BRONZE, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 20 comments
That was beautifully haunting and sad but oh how I loved it, would you be so kind as to give me a few tips on my poems I'd appreciate it, thanx :) keep up the good work

on Mar. 21 2012 at 1:52 pm
CharlesDickens SILVER, Georgetown, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I do not agree with what you have to say, but I&#039;ll defend to the death your right to say it.&quot;<br /> ~Voltaire

First of all, I'd like to say that I really like this peice, and it was a good read.

The no-paragraph format, however, makes this physically difficult to read.

Also, the story is written with base vocabulary, then splattered with more intensive stuff like "Estrangement," "Effervescent," and "resplendent." Vocabulary in moderation is best when dealing with a teenage audience.

Aside from these minor flaws, (which all writers have and share, myself included,) I should like to say that there was some beautiful imagery and ideology in it. Your writing style is similar to that of Ernest Hemingway.

Thanks for posting! I was glad to read it!


on Mar. 19 2012 at 8:29 pm
ImJustAGuy BRONZE, Oakland, California
2 articles 0 photos 22 comments
Thanks so much !  i wish  it was  in the magazine 

on Mar. 19 2012 at 8:18 am
Miranda_K. BRONZE, Donora, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am only one, but still I am one; I cannot do everything but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do something I can do.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> ~ Edward E. Hale

The format is a bit confusing but your message is crystal clear. The way you worded this you could feel his heartbreak with him.

on Mar. 19 2012 at 7:50 am
loveissmiles GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I live for the nights I can&#039;t remember with the people I will never forget.&quot; -Carassisa M-&lt;3<br /> <br /> &quot;What the mind can perceive, the body can achieve.&quot; -Softball Coach Steve B-

i have to agree that the format isnt the greatest, the site does that a lot. Other than that there is not a single thing i would change. This is so incredible. I am completely appaled my this. You have an unspeakable amount of talent, and im devestated to see this wasn't in a magazine. I mean it honestly don't get much better than this. Great job. :)

on Mar. 18 2012 at 10:49 pm
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD, Roseville, California
17 articles 1 photo 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;if you&#039;re not 1st you&#039;re last&quot;

This was nice Im not really a fan of the format (not sure of that's u or the site) but the words and imagery were lovely Eventhough it was sad. Good job!