My first sign is when
I notice the way I walk
In zigzags
Not straight
Then the pounding starts
In my head
No pain at first
But it is soon to come
My heartbeat races
Though I am sitting still
My throat becomes dry
I drink in big hungry gulps
It does nothing to stop
What is happening to me
My breath comes
But it is short
Jagged
And unfulfilling to my lungs
My head is too heavy to hold up
But the inside is light
Like there is nothing in it
My hands start to tingle
I cannot feel them
I cannot breathe
I cannot think
Then I am crying and unable to stop
The confused and misunderstood tears
Rolling down my cheeks
I am not certain where I am
Maybe in a dream
Because none of this is real
I stop caring about the tears
Because I realize
No one can see me
No one can hear me
I try to remember
How to breathe
And what it feels like
To know without a doubt
That someone cares
I hear voices all around me
I hear the words
But the meaning of them
Is lost on me
I do not understand
What is being said
Or who is saying what
Then I hear a word
That I still know the meaning of
At least I think I do
It is my name
More words after that
More voices
I stumble away without responding
And I fall into the arms of two people
Whose words make perfect sense