her late-night whispers curled in my ear
cool breezes and the scent of roses
she sang me songs so i could sleep
her voice high and sweet
impossible deadly melodies
she had to let them out
she said they were killing her

she led me into the forest
and she held my hand
while i became what i needed to be
in order to survive
a wintergirl
blade flashing silver
blood dripping
sweet and red
with love
we went along
leaving no bread-crumbs
don't worry she said
we're not coming back
no plans
just pain
blinding us to the point of sight
the clarity of the cut inevitable and anticipated

we were so high
we flew too close to the sun
and our wings melted
but we were strong
we were empty
we were strong
our love brimming over
our hate so strong
our desire to leave
to f*** it all and get out of here
to be done with everything
to die
it burned and cut us inside
to the point of delirium
to the point where nothing else mattered
as long as we were together, empty, strong
nothing would matter

no pain
just the melodies of our hearts
beating in unison
blood pumping through our veins
and out of open cuts
blood spilling out like water
and with it our pain
and for those snatches
those slow-motion snatches
that life gifted us
we were happy
but it was never enough
so we cut and drank and starved and puked
because we needed an escape
and it worked
for a while
but then it didn't
then it was killing us
and it was too late
because we were main-lining it
straight to our souls
embracing the cold
because life was so glaring
it was burning us alive