Warm summer nights conquered by reckless abandonment

Young people absorbed in the moment, blinded by temptations

Never satisfied, indulging in anything that pleased us.

Copulation without hesitation
A single moment with no regret
Creation with absent indication.

A life begotten, never to know what could’ve been.
A voice deserving to be heard, silenced by fear.

Then came the inevitable train of emotion,
Every day adding new cargo
Panic, misery, excitement…
All with a seemingly impossible acceptance of reality.

Bearing a scattered brain and a shattered heart,
I sought after anything to blanket the flow of tears.
Physically numb, the pain remained persistent.

Thus ensues a search for understanding
Knees striking the carpet in desperation,
Crying out to the ultimate voice of reason.

A delicate relief came in the form of counsel.
Dismissing myself of my stubborn pride, I hunted and received support…


Still every waking moment I long to cradle you in my arms.
I would have never let anything happen to you,
No pain and no harm.

I have an image of you in my head.
You would have been incredible,
But we chose the alternative instead.

I’m truly sorry; I want you to know.
So much love for you,
I’ll never get to show.

My heart bleeds for you.
My soul is torn by vast remorse,
Not one night has come that I have not wept.

With a plethora of emotions of equal account,
There is one the rest fail to surmount:

Due to your innocence, you are with our Lord.
For that I feel envy.
I know you’re content now,
But I wish you were with me.

I have to march on,
Though I wish you weren’t gone.
But I will never forget you now
With these tears I vow.