Sometimes, I feel like screaming
Loud enough so that the whole world can hear me
Why don't you all understand?
Day by day, I go on
Laughing and acting as though I'm completely fine
But inside I'm screaming
There are times when I don't think I can make it up the hill
When it seems like the entire world is pushing me down
Gravity makes it almost impossible to even take another step
I brush away my problems in front of you all
While I go home and scream
I feel like if I don't become who you believe I am, I'll fail you all
You have no idea how much it hurts when someone says an insulting thing to me
I laugh and say I don't care
But my soul is screaming
I don't know how I do it
If I could, I would scream
Nonstop, loud enough that the Amazon shakes
I can't explain it
I just need to scream
Maybe then I'll be able to breathe and be myself
My true self
Call her what you will: Bella, Hannah, Mattie, Mattingly, Mattiline, etc.
But the me that's screaming
Screaming to be understood
To be loved
To be heard