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Unexplainable
Straight to the bottom of the pit is where my dark soul resides
Not even a shadow to hold its company
Just the demons surrounding
Pulling on my arms to their caves
My life is being controlled by the centuries of sins
And held down...
Held down by the cold chains
My smile has been deleted from this image
The tears flowing from my heart are never ending
And the piercing crying
From my soul
Hideous
The danger my eyes see everyday cannot even begin to stand in comparison to the dangers my mind figures
The cuts
The tears
The false smiles
The whispers
Are what is destroying me
I'm past that state of help
Or state of reaching for help
All I want is the death of my existence
Only way I see to escape this pain
Demons pulling me to and fro'
And their chuckles are just the smallest percent of what haunts me
These sins and all I am ashamed
Etched into my flesh
Where all can stare at them
My head spinning is the affect of their stares
The words just so loud
And screaming inside my head brings me to my breaking point of my shaking knees falling
And the tears of my heart become visible to the human
And my doors are left open for strangers to walk in
Feel at home
I guess
Go right ahead
My body is their scratch paper
Words are all the sends me to the boiling point
But, it's stronger than actions
The sticks and stones will never compare to the unstoppable track of insults thrown at my face
Their lips
Only image ever seen in my mind
My sanity has ran away
It was the only thing I had left of me
And now.... Now, what have I left?
My pride?
That always nonexistent
Destroyed within the moment they caught a first glimpse
My joy?
It was killed with the pride
Yet, I'm sure of their location;
A cold dungeon in a land too far for the eye to see
And they'll never return home
Their present location most likely safer than my mind
My mind is ripped apart
Just destroyed
I wanna see the bright light
The bright light the personal demons converse of
I have the tempting to eavesdrop
What I gain knowledge of:
A.... A Savior
Can bring the broken salvation?
This isn't where I want to be a permanent resident
He has abundant love?
Care
Grace
Power
Empathy
I want this man they speak of in their hushed tones
Can they know of my worth
Their smirks are filled with His name
And dare not they touch him
Into dust they'd possibly turn
The pressure I had anticipated
Much less
I'm reaching
Reaching
I'm crying out
You're what I need
Right here and now
I open my heart
My mind
My soul
With every ounce of strength I hold
I'm presenting myself before you
Empty
Fill me
Make me whole
Stitch my wounds
Sew my broken scars
Just what I'm wanting
My aim is just a lift off
But, You are my stronghold, Lord
Perfection, You are
My tower
My strength
My all
In you, I put my trust
You're like a tiny flower blossoming within me
Opening my life
My tears are dried and wiped away
And my pride
Not even mine
Yours
You're my pride
My hope is You
Everything I am is in You
You've filled me
Filled me to the rim
And only if I could ever repay you?
An impossible achievement
But, I can still strive for it
Guarantee to be achieved?
No
But, You are my God
Never-ending worship for you
What you deserve
And my goal
Just because You made my heart beat again
The meaning is much deeper than this ink I've left behind
My soul
Safely returned to my body
But, I..
I don't know
My mind has the hardest time comprehending you
And I'll never understand it
Just trusting in you
Believing in you
Is only scratching the surface
The faith and joy my soul has now encountered
Unexplainable
That's what all of this is...
Unexplainable
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