The Girl By the Sea | Teen Ink

The Girl By the Sea

November 11, 2011
By Batsby GOLD, Henderson, Nevada
Batsby GOLD, Henderson, Nevada
17 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be what you would seem to be -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared.


The transparent skin that was once as charming
As the translucent glow of sharp shards of glass, so disarming.
Bold lies told to the faces of everyone who asked,
Those burlesque smiles so carefully masked,
But the truth of the sorrow would leave all aghast
Because the bloody stains of these handprints are oh-so alarming.

The girl by the sea
With her translucent skin and dizzy dreams
Tells the story of the boy who’s made of glass
And how he would make pain appear and make it last
Her fabrications are now a thing of the past
Her demise was a tragedy unable to forsee

How long will it take to feel the burn?
Longer than lasts love’s strongest yearn?
Because there’s so much blood and yet no pain
As the hunger of violence cannot be sustained
The acceptance into Hell is awarded with heavy acclaim
The reward was exceptionally earned.

Heart, you have never raced so fast
As you did when you lay eyes on the boy made of glass
But the young love you possessed would be unrequited
Now his sharp shards of glass no longer frighten,
And their sharp edges do nothing more than brighten
And the heartbreak will no longer last.



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This article has 10 comments.


DanielM. said...
on May. 12 2012 at 8:23 pm
That was really good. Great job!!

Aaka131 SILVER said...
on Feb. 7 2012 at 7:51 pm
Aaka131 SILVER, Dunbar, Pennsylvania
7 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

This is great and the choice of words makes it very unique and well worth reading. Keep up the good work this is an awesome poem to read and it definitely deserves 5/5. :)

Batsby GOLD said...
on Dec. 6 2011 at 7:48 pm
Batsby GOLD, Henderson, Nevada
17 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be what you would seem to be -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared.

I really appreciate this comment. Thank you so much for your help and support! <3

on Dec. 6 2011 at 5:51 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

Nice job! This is really a beautiful poem...

on Dec. 6 2011 at 5:03 pm
Resonating_Words SILVER, Dallas, Texas
5 articles 10 photos 87 comments

At risk of repeating what the previous comments have said, your word choice is really what makes this for me, as well as your avoidance of the 'expected' way to go about this. 

You could have done something miserably melo-dramatic, and yet this is powerful and flows beautifully -- really the rhythm is exceptional.

Taking the boy of glass, something that could easily be portrayed as delicate, and showing the sharp edges and ability to hurt was also something I really liked. Good choice of metaphor/whatever the right word is. 

All in all, very well done, and something I will read again. 5/5, as it should be. 


on Dec. 4 2011 at 2:11 pm
youngspeare BRONZE, Nairobi, Other
1 article 0 photos 273 comments

Favorite Quote:
We wouldn&#039;t ask a rose that grew from the concrete for having damaged petals; in turn we&#039;d all celebrate its tenacity, we&#039;d all love tz will to reach the sun well we are the roses n these are my damaged petals don&#039;t ask me why thank God and ask me how

Fabulous choice of words. It's perfect batsby! :)
Chcck out my poem "Ghosts of the Past"

on Dec. 3 2011 at 12:05 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper<br /> <br /> Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

^ very true. this was exquisitely written!!!

Becca17 GOLD said...
on Dec. 1 2011 at 4:35 pm
Becca17 GOLD, Belleville Ontario, Other
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Seven Deadly Sins:<br /> Wealth without work<br /> Pleasure without conscience<br /> Science without humanity<br /> Knowledge without character<br /> Politics without principle<br /> Commerce without morality<br /> Worship without sacrifice.&rdquo; <br /> ― Mahatma Gandhi

Amazing diction, description, and a perfect tone you've set the story in. 

on Nov. 28 2011 at 11:21 pm
sunshine7223 SILVER, Holdenville, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Afterall, a loose screw doesn&#039;t want to need, and a hammer doesn&#039;t want to be needed.&quot; -Me<br /> <br /> &quot;Those who observe with their eyes closed and mouths open, are usually not as wise as those who allow their minds to wander freely.&quot; -Me

I absolutely love this. I love your choice of words. I love your excellent expansion of words. And I love the way it flows. You did a terrific job on rhyming. Very well done. :) I really enjoyed this. :)))

on Nov. 28 2011 at 11:20 pm
no.name. PLATINUM, Ceres, California
42 articles 0 photos 93 comments

I really like this. I'm not much into long poems. But this is good.