what if...
you and i
lived in an alternate universe

where i didn't have to fight to keep,
you out of my head.
-honey i'm home-
and we're in our new york city apartment.
two half full glasses of red wine in hand,
staring out the window at our half drunk,
steel twisted christmas light playground,
because you're not afraid to drink anymore.
shed our suits and change into comfortable clothes.
watch saturday night live on our big screen tv.
you wear glasses because your eyes went bad,
but they make you look so smart,
on this leather couch, like i always knew
they would.
i lean into you and i don't feel like i'm imposing.
you want to be kissed--its not some debt,
you feel obligated to pay to me.
you dont have to pretend you love me,
because you actually do.
and i don't feel nervous when i fall asleep
on you.
protected by the flashing sign i bought into.


but i do have to fight to keep
you out of my head.
-honey i'm here-
and we're sitting alone in the yearbook room.
a coke in your hand and nothing in mine,
listening to manchester orchestra and the fray,
because music is all you care about.
shed my guitar because i am not good enough,
to accompany the gibson god you hold,
more fondly than you ever held me.
you wear fake glasses you bought at hot topic.
but they actually look good on you,
or at least everyone else thinks so.
i don't touch you at all because i'm scared,
that if i kissed you, your mind would race.
that you're saying you love me,
because you're actually bored.
and i get nervous when i fall asleep on you,
because i've learned not to trust,
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