I wish I had a better way to say this
Without any other way to put it I’m amazed with
This forgiveness
Forgotten
I’m forgetting how to function
I’ve kept most feelings locked in
The trunk of my car
I walk into school late to get sniffed
Offended with it I flipped s***
And mixed up a mistake
With a time bomb
Remembering my mom
So calm
As she found out I had a bong
Hidden in my desk
Piled under papers labeled
“regret”
Do you regret me?
I regret all limericks
About
A boy as beautiful as a rose
But the therapist says his behavior shows
Attention Deficit
Diagnosis Definite
What will happen to him? Who knows
Sitting in a field of dead flowers
I’m downing in stress and counting hours
Until the weekend
Until I become a more meek man
But the heat seeks him
Teasing me with deep secrets
And a schoolgirl crushes me
With lust
Who trusts
No one
Enough of this
Teasing me into believing
The words of a well known heathen
Who throws back spliffs
Like the night when I couldn’t have enough
Hotboxed blankets as I write another riff
About drugs
Mugshots of men in crashed cars smoking pot
All he needs is another shot
And he can do better
But there’s a differenece between unraveled and tattered sweaters
There’s rock bottom but you can keep going until you get to the core
The crust of the earth isn’t deep enough and some need more
To get over it
A better way to put this
Is that I’m sick of liars hiding
Deniers trying to find the lightning
In relapse
Recently relapsed subjects or best friends
Text me saying all they want to do is heroin
And all I can do is sit there staring at them
Their memory because that’s all I’ll have when they’re done
Jokes are only funny when you’re not actually drowning in rum
And when a schoolgirl says that she wishes she was on ambien
All I know to do is run