Counting Backwards | Teen Ink

Counting Backwards

August 22, 2011
By tes1634 PLATINUM, Olive Hill, Kentucky
tes1634 PLATINUM, Olive Hill, Kentucky
46 articles 16 photos 17 comments

On the second day of your absence,
I find my thumbnails in the quick;
my index finger twitching towards
the phone. The weight of silence suffocating me; my arm flinches, returning back to hang at my side. I am stronger than a mere thought.

I've been curled up in this ball for sometime now; afraid a single movement will knock off the balance of my yin and yang (a.k.a.: my will-power).

With the distraction of passing seconds, the weight eases; gradually lifting. Until I look down and see the spaces in between my fingers; empty.

Reciting the chemical symbols on the table of elements to myself will no longer suffice.

I roll over and hit the big red button in my head; rewind or self- destruct. Either way I have a 100/100 chance of agony.

Reliving every moment,
Memories hanging around like Christmas lights in January,
Pretending to forget
what's been carved into my eyelids,
Avoiding the unavoidable;
Attempting the impossible?

I dial your number.
My fingers know it faster than my brain.
I do not cover the receiver this time.
I do not prevent your untainted ears from hearing what you caused.
I do not hide this burden I have been carrying around.
I know this is your fault.
I wait for that casual, ever familiar:
Smirk at the irony,
and let you hear the soft crackling of my heart while it breaks.

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