My breath catches,
Stuck in my throat,
I’m too scared to let it go,
It’s strangling within me.
My secrets are in there,
13,587 and counting,
I can’t lose them all,
It’ll be like I lost myself.
I have some elsewhere,
But this is the copy I love,
It’s complete,
Raw feelings are spilt upon the pages,
My heart, brain, and soul.
Pride will go down with this ship,
Only my eyes are privy to it.
The travesty of this loss,
It’ll hurt me silently,
Crush my hope.
If it is gone,
I don’t know what I’ll do,
The entire set,
It can’t be over yet.
Only I will know what it said here,
The 33 pages saved under my name.
As the screen goes black,
My mind turns to panic mode,
I hear a buzzing,
Is that the machine or me?
I’ve lost the ability to breathe or speak,
I need to get them back.
I close my eyes,
Take the plunge,
And shut it down.
As the computer restarts,
My breath remains in my throat,
It’s not over yet,
I still can’t breathe,
Not until I see,
All the words I’ve written,
All the work I’ve saved.
I finally breathe,
The pieces of me,
All 13,767,
Remain the same.