The gloom of the empty house
settled in on my heart
compressing it
so it might have fit in a little box.
The images that plague me
the thoughts that haunt me
everything that is gone during the day
pushed to the back of my mind
suddenly overwhelming me.
Worst case scenarios
What-if situations
Wretched memories
chasing each other around my brain
like on a race track
the second the lights go off.
Feelings shoved deep down
threatening to erupt
and not go back in
Nothing to distract me
from everything I don't want to think
from every missed opportunity.
The silence that compresses my heart
threatens to twist my stomach into a knot
and never untie it.
It controls me
makes me turn on the light
get up
wake the only other human
that might be feeling the deafening silence as well,
seek his company.
The deafening silence
that I know I shouldn't be scared of
because there's nothing to be feared
in silence
only in what unknown things
the silence holds.