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Betrayed
I know what you are thinking
I see it in your face
I see frustration glaring
Disdain you can’t erase
I know its all my fault
The yelling and the sighs
Each rough push you give me
The annoyance in your eyes
Just tell me straight the first time
Stop pushing me around
Don’t yell again, it hurts me
Though I try to block the sound
If you would only teach me
If you would show me how
Oh, just tell me what to do
It doesn’t matter now
Come glare and growl at me
I know that’s what you crave
Not good enough again
It’s hard to still look brave
But I won’t let you hurt me
Your words will not break through
I won’t let it touch me
The blame that will ensue
I’ll make my mind like stone
Won’t hear a word you say
I’ll make my heart like wood
I’ll make my feelings clay
I can block the angry words
At least a little while
I can shut out all the hurt
The pain of the revile
But the look that’s in your eyes
The frustration and disgust
I can’t block out the sight
Your eyes say I betrayed your trust
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This article has 8 comments.
AMAZING!
I really connected with the poem and felt the emotion throughout. Keep it up!
i like how you set up your poem :) Very nicely done. Though while reading it, i felt (just a bit) that some words were used for the sake of rhyming. The poem would be even cooler if you used some symbols of anger and hurt-----like a cold mysterious poem instead of a hard, direct one.
Overall, this deserves 4 stars.
The thing about poetry is you either like it or you don't... I think your poems are good but they didn't do anything for me. I'm a hit-or-miss kind of guy with poetry and I never know what I'm going to like unless it's really twisted or something.
A personal preference of mine is complex poems. Something abstract... something symbolic. Something that makes no sense at all even. I don't know how to explain my taste in poetry. I write stuff like this all the time, but the stuff I REALLY love of mine is like the stuff that just came out of nowhere. Like I got high one time and wrote a poem that made absolutely no sense, but there were a couple lines that were really really awesome.
So yeah don't know what kind of criticism I can give for poetry haha
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