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I Don't Write Anymore
I don't write anymore.
I don't
smile to myself;
whisper to God.
I never sleep in
for innocent reasons.
I hide and glare.
I have aged.
I don't write anymore.
I read magazines.
I draw mustaches on pictures of
rich women.
I don't dream like I did,
asleep or awake.
Things make sense and
I journal the facts.
I have a five year plan.
Reality is
Heavy.
Mom and Dad have gotten old
and I have fat on my arms.
I don't write.
I copy words from textbooks
and mouths of authority.
I lie awake at night and think
in numbers and
shades of gray.
I don't wish anymore
as the world is finite
and fate is an office, a chair, a desk, a husband, and tired eyes.
I ask myself if I am happy
and I never know,
I never know.
I don't write anymore.
I don't laugh with the wind or
run without direction or
put bugs in little jars and
smile and smile and smile.
I don't create my own world.
I don't write anymore;
Instead I cry
because
the past
is
dead,
buried,
and gone.
The past is dead. The present is confined. The future is bleak.
And you have pointed out
that
I don't write anymore.
Beat... beat... beat....
I can't even breathe.
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