Sympathetic Sob | Teen Ink

Sympathetic Sob

December 18, 2010
By msp49 BRONZE, Middletown, Connecticut
msp49 BRONZE, Middletown, Connecticut
4 articles 1 photo 39 comments

The red lights shone through the misery
of blackness conquering the sky.
The buzz of shrill and eager voices hung in the air,
overtaking the mist that seemed to forbiddingly dwell.

The firefighter cradled her in his concealed arms,
with her slim, sun kissed legs dangling.
They swayed fragilely with his bouncing steps,
but moved so harshly from the nonexistent wind.

Her tears of fearful anticipation and booming sobs compensated
for the accompanying rain that the skies should have released.
Even in misery,
her undeserving beauty wouldn’t cease.

Yet, I couldn’t hate her in that moment
for what I didn’t have.
Couldn’t make myself think
of the words she’d said.

I felt my heart fill with an aching desire
to help this girl I couldn’t stand.
I didn’t know why I felt pity for someone
who would never return the gesture.

I couldn’t help the emotions
that overcame me.
Couldn’t help the way
I am.

This girl who scarred me was hurt
in ways I’ve never had to feel.
My brain perpetually hoarded painful memories
she would never be able to understand.

Yet, I still ponder this emotion
I’ve never been able to comprehend.
Its twisted confusion
and contradicting demands.

I watched as the firefighter
carried her away.
The mist trying to hide it all,
but those piercing red lights showing their way.

They disappeared into the crowd of people,
the dark, malice sky failing to do its job.
My heart continued to feel heavy,
a silent, sympathetic sob.

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This article has 7 comments.

msp49 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 16 2011 at 1:56 pm
msp49 BRONZE, Middletown, Connecticut
4 articles 1 photo 39 comments
Thank you so much! :)

msp49 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 16 2011 at 1:49 pm
msp49 BRONZE, Middletown, Connecticut
4 articles 1 photo 39 comments
I'm genuinely glad I interested you in something you aren't usually a fan of; thank you for taking the time to read and comment!

msp49 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 16 2011 at 1:46 pm
msp49 BRONZE, Middletown, Connecticut
4 articles 1 photo 39 comments
Thank you!  I try to describe situations, so I'm glad you guys were able to put my words into images.  I appreciate the feedback!

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 14 2011 at 11:16 pm
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
Wow, that's really all there is to say. I'm blown away by your talent, you fit your words perfectly and the poem just flowed- one line into the next. It's almost hypnotic. thumbs up!!

SJ_101 said...
on Jun. 3 2011 at 4:34 pm
SJ_101, Somewhere, New York
0 articles 0 photos 169 comments
I so totally agree with CarrieAnn13. This was truly beautiful. :) The ending seemed complete and perfect. Good job; I truly mean it. I don't really read poems, but this is really great. This type of work deserves to be in the magazine. There were a lot of poetic descriptions. :)

on Jun. 3 2011 at 2:45 pm
Kayla1115 BRONZE, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is short, it's not a dress rehershal."

Wow how amazing, and so detailed.  You do have talent, and I could totally see it through this poem.  I love the suspense and the ryhmes you used, it flows very well together.  And the words you used too, painted a perfect imagery in my head. Well thought out and excellent!

on Jun. 2 2011 at 6:15 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

That was an amazing poem!  I normally don't read poetry, but this is a great exception.  The flow is great and the imagery is even better; I can picture everything you're writing about.  Good job!