Death in a Bottle | Teen Ink

Death in a Bottle

November 22, 2010
By alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."


Drinking his gluttony, lies, and fate,
It’s his life the bottle will take.
Depression, tears, and bruises surround him.
He drinks away his pain and numbs them.
The feelings are fake, over his life they take.

Running away from his problems,
Yet running into deadly sins.
Depression, scars, and anger devour him.
He drinks away his aches and numbs them.
Many have been where he is – near the sins.

To his seat he wobbled,
Pushing the gas full throttle.
Bad memories and his broken family remind him,
To drink away his hurts and numb them,
Until he goes full throttle.

And finishes his Death in a Bottle.



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This article has 34 comments.


on Jan. 2 2011 at 12:19 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Haha thank you yeah i try and i like it when i comment on other people's pieces and they reply back so i do the same!

DeannaAnn GOLD said...
on Jan. 1 2011 at 5:58 pm
DeannaAnn GOLD, Moorseville, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
The greatest thing youll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. -Moulin Rouge

i love that you reply to everyone. that is great. :D

on Dec. 29 2010 at 1:04 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Thank you and yeah someone else mentioned that about the rhyming and if you kinda use your imagination you can hear the rhyme but thank you again i may just revise it some to make it better definately

on Dec. 27 2010 at 12:38 pm
nickykens ELITE, Draper, Utah
134 articles 2 photos 85 comments
Fantastic, the idea overall is good and I love the Death in a Bottle theme.  The rhymes seem... trivial?, for lack of better word.  I recommend some revising, and it will be perfect.

on Dec. 27 2010 at 12:27 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

thanks so much! i'm glad you liked it!

on Dec. 27 2010 at 12:08 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Wow really? thank you! that really means a lot to me and yes! I'd love to look at some of your poetry i look at some now!!!

on Dec. 27 2010 at 12:04 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Yeah  i see wat your saying and i hear the awkwardness that you're talkin about but i wasn't really going for a meter more of a rhyme scheme which - i guess if you use your imagination - you could hear

on Dec. 26 2010 at 10:02 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Thank you I appreciate it!!! :)

on Dec. 26 2010 at 10:00 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Aw thanks that means a lot to me i hope it does too but if not I'll just keep trying! :D

on Dec. 26 2010 at 7:10 pm
MeaganNicole PLATINUM, Louisville, Kentucky
23 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who wish to sing always find a song.

This is fantastic! Amazing concept and the metaphor of "death in a bottle" is really something to think about. Great job :D

on Dec. 26 2010 at 4:46 pm
fallen-angle GOLD, Cleburn, Texas
16 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
in darkness i shall wait for you and when i have you i will love u like no other

hey i wright like you do i love your poetry it grabs my heart and soul leaving me breathless wishing for more i would be verry happy if u read some of my poetry

on Dec. 25 2010 at 7:40 pm
DiamondsIntheGrass GOLD, Martinsville, New Jersey
14 articles 1 photo 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
Worry is simply a misuse of the imagination.

nice, the description was good.  i think you mentioned depression twice though, and in such a short poem i wouldn't advise it. it also seems like you tried to make it rhyme, but it was inconsistent and therefore felt awkward. is sort of... off beat.

Kai17 GOLD said...
on Dec. 25 2010 at 2:06 pm
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
17 articles 5 photos 339 comments

Favorite Quote:
*beepbeep*
"Where to, Miss?"
"To the stars."

This is so brilliant; it describes it perfectly. I love your work!

DeannaAnn GOLD said...
on Dec. 25 2010 at 1:49 pm
DeannaAnn GOLD, Moorseville, North Carolina
12 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
The greatest thing youll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. -Moulin Rouge

very very good. i hope this makes it to the magazine.

on Dec. 23 2010 at 12:01 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Thank you! I'm glad you think so :)

on Dec. 22 2010 at 11:58 pm
AlexaConnor33 GOLD, Clackamas, Oregon
13 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let anyone, ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."

This is amazing.

on Dec. 22 2010 at 9:05 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Definately! I look at some of your work now!!!

on Dec. 22 2010 at 7:30 pm
ToRemember SILVER, Somersworth, New Hampshire
6 articles 1 photo 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont ever tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

your very very welcome! (: i would love it if you looked at some of my work, that'd be great to have your opinion!

on Dec. 22 2010 at 7:06 pm
alanacarlene DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
55 articles 15 photos 592 comments

Favorite Quote:
Silence screams too honestly and loudly.
-Alex (aka GangstaEyes)
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four.
-Winston Smith '1984'
Don't go wishin' your life away...
-Daddy S2
"What a drag it was to be limited by reality."

Wow thank you so much! Your opinion means so much to me!!! Thanks again :) I'm very happy that you like this!

on Dec. 22 2010 at 6:37 pm
ToRemember SILVER, Somersworth, New Hampshire
6 articles 1 photo 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont ever tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

This blew me away. AMAZING i loved every bit of it, you have potential!!!!!