I lacked security, claimed comfort, craved sin
A solitary being trapped in a tool-shed
The loss of confidence, the redemption I dreamt
Though some claim suicide
I genuinely desired the much dreaded end
Prayed to the knives
To yield me from my despair

Though some chant “that every cloud has a silver lining”
The statement is formed purely out of desperate fear of life existing without the security of bliss in every malady
And the egotistic animals who scream praising god
Are slowly melting inside: melting out of panic
Of questions lacking answers, or answers that fail to satisfy

As for me, I am trapped within the body of a nihilist.
terrorist of an angel, I’m forgiven