These words I am hearing
are turning into nothing
but background music.
As I sit here wondering
why I am here
I think that maybe
I’ve finally been accepted.
I know you see me now
but I still feel so invisible.
It’s unnatural
as if we speak different languages.
I have not yet realized
that this is my place.
Am I supposed to want to be
the girl sitting next to him
holding his hand?
Should I look at her and say
I wish that were me?
I can’t.
I have to learn your language first.
I don’t know if I will ever speak it
I’m not sure that I will ever feel seen.
But I can pretend that I know.
I can act like I’m not
teetering on the ledge,
in that strange place between
where I was and where I am
praying I will fall in the right direction