I sit in the pew, chewing a piece of gum
That tastes like nothing to me.
I hear the words that the preacher says,
That holds no meaning for my broken heart.
The words meant to comfort do nothing
To fill in the empty space that now occupies my chest.

How can anyone really explain this?
What words can undo this hurt?
What could we have done to have kept you from pulling the trigger?

Your memory is still so vivid in my mind.
Your laugh that made me smile.
Your temper that made me cry.
Ten years from now…will I still be able to picture your face?

Will remembering still bring these stinging tears?
Will I be able to conjure up your velvet voice in my ears?
Will the hurt ever go away?
Will I ever take the blame off of myself?

Your body lies in its coffin.
With a white cotton blanket lifted to your chin,
You’d never know that a bullet through the heart
Took your life

It’s amazing how peaceful you look
Maybe this really did bring you what you could never find on earth.
I can only hope that you got everything you ever wanted.
I’ll think of you each time

I laugh.
I cry.
When I want to give up,
I’ll remember this pain.
And I’ll keep going.