You Break | Teen Ink

You Break

April 29, 2010
By IvyVine SILVER, Unknown, Indiana
IvyVine SILVER, Unknown, Indiana
9 articles 0 photos 28 comments

You never really care
until it's too late
and you've gone in
to take the bait

it was someone else's problem
it wasn't yours
but now your the broken one
and down on all fours

you said it'd never happen
that you'd be okay
so now you know
it doesn't matter what you say

others get torn
you push them aside
you get burned
and you went and cried

now you can see that it is real
the problems weren't fake
and he's coming after you
cause now is when You break.

The author's comments:
I got this from a comment I put on someones poem and a video I watched about abusive relationships.

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This article has 3 comments.

on Aug. 13 2010 at 8:13 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 430 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

I like how you got this inspiration! I agree with Brian, it could use some grammar work. But this could turn out great once you put that in!

on Jun. 25 2010 at 8:12 pm
ReadWriteBreathe PLATINUM, Pocatello, Idaho
24 articles 4 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you" Tyler Durden Fight Club

I like it. But I have to agree with Brian, it does need puncuation. Other than that I love it because it tells a story and that's what I love most about poems.

on Jun. 16 2010 at 1:29 pm
Pitiful_Anonymous PLATINUM, New Cumberland, West Virginia
22 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"and all you f***ers go beep beep beep in cheap,plastic cars. If It's to dumb to see or say you'll still sing it, and I'll just cue the applause" - Marilyn Manson

This is good. The only real issue is Grammatics. You have no capitolization, or punctuation. I hate to sound like a teacher, but those things are important.