I Was Mistaken | Teen Ink

I Was Mistaken MAG

March 23, 2010
By hellozina GOLD, Boise, Idaho
hellozina GOLD, Boise, Idaho
14 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

black and blue stumbles its way to the surface
of my ever-fragile skin, thin as paper
the truth stays caged inside
with your lies, like chains locked to my ankles
pulling me deeper into this icy ocean that used to feel so warm, so much like home
and there's water in my lungs
and I can't cry out for help
and I'm drowning
slowly, slowly
once upon a time, I thought you loved me too

The author's comments:
I wrote this piece for a contest that was focused on raising awareness for teen dating abuse. It took me a long time to finally put it all together, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

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This article has 1 comment.

on Dec. 31 2011 at 9:47 am
ElleNicole BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 107 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all."

I can feel the emotion in this piece, but I don't feel truly connected to it. I feel like you need more of the story in there. I get what the poem involves, but I think it's be even more powerful if you added something more. =) I still love it! Would you mind rating and commenting on my work? It'd mean a lot, thanks so much!