I Failed You | Teen Ink

I Failed You

March 4, 2010
By DelightfullyDAZED PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
DelightfullyDAZED PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
25 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Our arms start from the back because they were once wings
~ suppose shes a wildflower
~i am free of all predujice, i hate everyone equally

You walked on that deserted road
Blurred memories of us on replay
You left with no second thoughts
You stepped upon the forgotten bridge
And left your last breath
Not only did you leave the world behind
You left me
You won't be easily forgotten
Especially when you were loved by me
We strode through the worst
Achieving the best
But what comes to mind first
Is that i possibly failed you
You jumped
I wasn't there to catch you
When i have forgiven myself
I will agree to let you go
I Look upward among the clouds
Knowing your up there
I am down here
I will see you again
But for now
My friend

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This article has 3 comments.

on Apr. 9 2010 at 2:40 pm
shelterisland GOLD, Montclair, New Jersey
14 articles 0 photos 175 comments

Favorite Quote:
-Biting's excellent. It's like kissing only there's a winner."-Doctor Who, The Tardis

loved this! sad, loved the line "i wasn't there to catch you". good job.

on Apr. 7 2010 at 11:24 am
Quotes_on_Notebooks GOLD, Allentown, Pennsylvania
10 articles 6 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We all die. The goal is not to live forever, the goal is to create something that will." ~Chuck Palahniuk

this is a really moving piece. i loved the line "you stepped upon the forgotten bridge and left you last breath." that was a really, really haunting line.

on Mar. 28 2010 at 6:21 pm
HPGGMRAR GOLD, Kennesaw, Georgia
14 articles 6 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I musn't forget I'm alive."
Ray Bradbury (Dandelion Wine)

Loved it!

My favorite line was"You jumped/ I wasn't there to catch you"

Loved the rhythm, but in some parts you don't seem sure of your writing. I know the message of the piece lends itself towards insecurity, but in the line "Is that I possibly failed you" possibly could be taken out, it detracts from the message. i love the first stanza and the last lines. Keep it up!


Could you check out some of my stuff?