Life's Labyrinth | Teen Ink

Life's Labyrinth

February 28, 2010
By francinejar SILVER, Chino Hills, California
francinejar SILVER, Chino Hills, California
7 articles 1 photo 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
God and the devil are raging inside me.

I have this obsession
Its kind of a weird obsession
Im obsessed with labyrinths, mazes.
So it's no wonder why I'd compare my life to a labyrinth.
I mean what better way to compare life to then some long arduous maze.
Lately though the scenery In my labyrinth has changed,
I mean changed so dramatically in such a short amount of time.
It used to be my facade, the large extravagant bushes that enveloped me,
Had a consistency to be pretty flowers, roses, buds, depending on my mood.
But all thats changed,
Because I don't see pretty flowers anymore
Because I am not on the same path I was before,
I've been making unclear decisions
That are causing me to make wrong turns In my labyrinth
And just like in life you can't go back,
There's no turning around.
So I continue on this new path
Away from my original desires
Because I've stopped caring.
And the flowers are no longer just ugly,
They've begun to acquire a fetid, foul odor,
And my senses are telling me they also might be becoming toxic as I continue in this direction.
Im even beginning to see vines,
And the path itself has changed,
Its become rocky and muddy
And there are even little leeches floundering around.
Its also become hard to walk or even move
And not surprisingly its become pretty claustrophobic.
So it's no wonder I fall.
And It's not a regular fall because I don't fall over on something.
I just drop.
And these baneful bushes have some pretty robust vines
With what seems like a surplus of thorns
And somehow they've wrapped themselves around me,
But mainly they're constricting my throat.
And all of a sudden
My ears are ringing,
My vision is blurry,
My body is trembling,
I am breaking out in a cold sweat,
And my breath is coming out in ragged clumps.
And my first thought is I am going to die,
And that right there makes me furious
Because I am the one who fertilized these vines
Those were my cogitations that made them
So plump,
So belligerent,
So venomous.

Now the next thought is am I going to let this kill me?
Or am I going to say enough, enough of this,
Enough of you Mister teacher who doesn't understand and isn't teaching me what I need to know,
Enough of you broken clock because you've wasted so much of my time,
Enough of you gravity because you prevent me from flying,
Enough of you stupid door because you've locked me out so many times before,
Enough of you old friend who ditched me in my darkest hour,
Enough of you emotions because your the ones who have me pinned to the ground.

Now I am going to take these emotions
That should be strong enough to rip these vines
Since they are obviously strong enough to hold me down,
And tear them off my throat.

And I am going to get up dust myself off
And make some decisions that are going to put me back on a path
That leads me to my goals and desires.
And I know it's going to take awhile
Because I've gotten so off track,
But it'll all be worth it to get in a place that I like in life.
So Carpe Diem, Carpe Noctum
Because you cannot waste time you can only waste yourself.

The author's comments:
I was dealing with my mothers cancer and the loss of a close friend.

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