Our Mistake | Teen Ink

Our Mistake

January 12, 2010
By josiebelle SILVER, Waterford, Other
josiebelle SILVER, Waterford, Other
7 articles 0 photos 26 comments

I never expected perfect
But I never expected this.
I was under your spell,
Wher every look said:
Marry me!
Every smile:
Have my babies.
It's over now,
and I finally see our mistake.

Contrary, to your belief,
Our mistake was not breaking up
It was getting together.
we're the perfect human example
Of oil and water,
Impossible for us to mix,
For us to be,
Anything other then a heart breaking mistake.



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This article has 11 comments.


on Aug. 12 2010 at 10:36 am
josiebelle SILVER, Waterford, Other
7 articles 0 photos 26 comments
thanks for taking the time to read and iv always been bad all through school for not checking my spellings!!

GypsyRose GOLD said...
on Aug. 8 2010 at 8:51 pm
GypsyRose GOLD, Charlotte, North Carolina
10 articles 2 photos 3 comments

sounds like me and my ex, only...we still won't give up, even thought he's going off to college 3 hours away.

Overall i loved it, it got the message across. check spelling before you post, the where in line 4 is missing the E, happen though. I thought the lin "Have my babies" was a little disconnected, but i ssee where you were coming from, mostly out of experience.

The last stanza really got my attention.I think it was well delivered. Very nice writing.


on May. 27 2010 at 3:39 am
josiebelle SILVER, Waterford, Other
7 articles 0 photos 26 comments
mucho thanks for reading!!

BabyV GOLD said...
on May. 22 2010 at 9:50 am
BabyV GOLD, Jachksoville, Florida
13 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
A really good poet write so that the reader can walk in their shoes just for that one minute. Victoria Jones

Yea its really good, and very relatable

on Apr. 13 2010 at 3:04 pm
josiebelle SILVER, Waterford, Other
7 articles 0 photos 26 comments
haha thanks good to know im doing something right!!

on Apr. 13 2010 at 12:02 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper<br /> <br /> Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

lol i kno, i just wanted it to be longer cuz i liked wat i was reading:)

on Apr. 13 2010 at 11:44 am
josiebelle SILVER, Waterford, Other
7 articles 0 photos 26 comments

its about quality not quantity!lol

thanks for reading!!!!


on Apr. 13 2010 at 11:14 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper<br /> <br /> Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

hm that was short, but i still liked it. good poem:)

on Apr. 11 2010 at 6:13 am
josiebelle SILVER, Waterford, Other
7 articles 0 photos 26 comments
thanks im into science so i thought id combine it with my poetry!!

on Apr. 7 2010 at 8:21 pm
elfiewrites BRONZE, Hillsdale, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart.&quot;~William Hazlitt<br /> &quot;Be yourself, everyone else is taken.&quot;

I really liked this article! Keep on writing. Please, if you get the chance, may you give me feedback on my work, too? Thanks so much, and great work.

_NoAir_ BRONZE said...
on Apr. 3 2010 at 8:25 pm
_NoAir_ BRONZE, Toronto, Other
4 articles 1 photo 463 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are as many ways to live as there are people in this world. Each one deserves a closer look.<br /> <br /> <br /> &ndash;Golly (Harriet The Spy)

I really like this! Especially the image choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!