I cannot feeling it

The way I can feel the others

Gone is the very essence

Of every moment

Coursing through my veins

How can I name this feeling

I refuse to face

I rub my arms

Until the numbness fades

I curl into myself

Making my body

As small as possible

But how long can you stay

Within yourself

Before you start to go insane

I watch you walk away

I should be used to this by now

But I suppose that

Within this stretch of time

I forgot how to say goodbye

I keep turning back

Waiting for you to look

So I can catch your eye

Was I imagining the difference

Or have you changed

Were we all falsifying

This fleeting feeling of forever

In a joint delusion

Avoiding the inevitable conclusion

Accepting that it cannot be the same

I miss you like breathing

Naturally until noticed

Then the lungs become strained

As the notion becomes conscious

The ache I have adapted to

Comes to the forefront

I am never able to stop it

I am so proud

Of how you have grown

And I am irrevocably happy

That you are not alone

Go back home

To the family you made

For yourself

And I promise I will try

To not hate you for it

As long as you remember us

As long as you come visit