Journey | Teen Ink

Journey

February 27, 2024
By AmbrosiaMA BRONZE, Monroe, Wisconsin
AmbrosiaMA BRONZE, Monroe, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

On this journey, I find myself neither at its end nor at its inception.

Yet while I crave the naivety of the beginning, I'm more ravenous for the end.

In the beginning, people resembled vicious creatures, relentlessly pursuing me as prey. I was but a mere entity, a potential contagion that could spread from person to person in a heartbeat.

Currently, individuals scrutinize me, attempting to decipher if the woman before them authentically represents herself or is an aberrant creation of nature that only exists to be perverse.

In the end, they will perceive a woman who fought tenaciously for her identity, resilient despite the challenges that faced her in the past.

In the beginning, my community enveloped me in warmth akin to the sun itself, something that I embraced like a mother's hug.

Currently, their love has waned, transforming from an inviting fire to a frigid, fractured lake one step away from me going beneath the surface.

In the end, I shall stand as a pillar in my community, radiating the warmth I once knew, but unlike those who came before me, I will never freeze over.

In the beginning, my family was oblivious. Discussions about the perplexing teenager dominated every dinner, a soul to be "saved" from a perceived mental illness.

Currently, their involvement has contributed to me gaining a name that finally fits who I am. While not fully allied, they've ceased opposing me, perhaps forgetting their initial resistance entirely.

In the end, we will rediscover happiness as one united family, fighting for each other unconditionally, no matter who that family member is.

In the beginning, my group of friends was larger than life itself, but each member was a gamble. Some were like walking on eggshells, almost as if my living authentically harmed them.

Currently, my group of friends is small because I have learned to cut those who harmed me out of my life, as if I am Atropos cutting at the strings that connect us.

In the end, my group may be large or small, but no matter what, I'll remember that if they harm me for being me, I can always cut them loose instead of cutting myself down.

In the beginning, mirrors posed as snares, uncertain realms oscillating between a 9 o'clock shadow and femininity that seemingly could only be found by carving my flesh.

Currently, they serve as a prison for a vision not yet realized. The lines I etched in the past have subtly faded, unveiling a concealed beauty as if Aphrodite herself has finally blessed me.

In the end, they will reveal not the perfected version of me I yearn to embody, but one that embraces her imperfections and realizes she is perfect, just as she is.

In the beginning, I resembled a deer in headlights, paralyzed by impending doom and hesitant to progress even though the thought of staying weighed like a death sentence.

Currently, I am akin to a Phoenix. I've embraced my challenges, rising anew from the ashes of adversity, because I refuse to die without a chance to help those who come after me.

In the end, I will reflect with a smile on my community, my family, my friends, and mostly on the journey that shaped me into the woman I've become.

For when my journey is over, I will no longer crave what’s far behind me, but accept what’s next.


The author's comments:

This piece symbolizes not only the journey I have experienced since coming out as a trans woman but also the ending that I wish to experience.


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This article has 1 comment.


J-Myers said...
on Mar. 19 at 2:18 pm
J-Myers, Monroe, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This is amazing!