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casket
maybe
i’ve been stabbed in the back
a youthful spirit deflated, eyes darkened and haunted
finally having a taste
of what it means to be unwanted
but they don't see my scars
maybe
i’ve been smothered beneath miles of sobs
memories writhing against my better sense
as the booming jeers return in the night
a community, laughing at my expense
but they don't hear my screams
maybe
i’ve been freezing slowly,
like a sculpture still breathing
tensing in defiance against the shame keeping me pinned
only to be shattered into a million broken shards
by the wind
but they don’t feel the ice
maybe
i've already died inside
with a smile and voice that run on autopilot
too tired to fight back, to defend
with only my thoughts turning for the violent
but they don't know I'm already that far gone
they don’t see, they don’t hear, they don’t feel, they don’t know
all they ever see
is a bright smile
all they ever hear
is "i'm okay.”
all they ever feel
is triumph, with their jokes that ensnarl
and all they've ever known
or cared to know
is a mask
a pretty casket
of a girl
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