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AM I COMMON
I loved and hated Emily
Simply the combination of letters itself that spells E-M-I-L-Y
Loved it because simply, it is
My name
That sums up and carry all of my identity
I am me when i am Emily
Not a sister, not a student, not a daughter,
Not anyone else
The one that
Hugs her cat
Even hugging it made her sneeze all day
The one that
Suffer from looking at numbers and chemical notations
The one that
Could be invisible
The one that
Could be heard
Hated it because simply it sounds
Mediocre, swallowed up in the sea of Emily
There are 5 Emilys in my primary school
4 Emilys in my middle school
Two of my best friend is called emily
The Tick-tok video critique it as the worst name
Cuz it is just too common
Too common
But E-M-I-L-Y has become an inseparable part of me
So AM I COMMON?
I asked myself
Over and over again
Every time I have the thought of changing my name
But I’ve never thought of a better one
I’m still Emily
For one, two, seventeen years
Because i believe one day i will love
The uncommon-ness under the common name.
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This poem expresses my contradicting emotions regarding my name - Emily. The relationship I have with my name is ambivalent. There are simply too many Emilys in the world, that I always feel I’m insignificant. But every time I’m determined to change it, I fail to do so because Emily has already become an inseparable part of me. It is a part of my identity. I hold my memory of childhood. And it gives me strength. I’m still learning about how to coexist with my name, and I believe one day I will find the beauty and uniqueness in it.
Emily Chen is from China. Her interests span literature, gender studies, and media studies. She is committed to promoting gender equality and has posted some book reviews and creative writing through social networks. Her work has been recognized by New York Times. She likes to travel, listen to music, and paint pictures.