Public Scoring in China: Phony Confidence | Teen Ink

Public Scoring in China: Phony Confidence

November 12, 2023
By JimmySu BRONZE, Hamden, Connecticut
JimmySu BRONZE, Hamden, Connecticut
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Dignity hung by a thread, soon to be snipped by a few words,

Everyone’s scores were to be announced, 

the room's chaos stilled,

Silent, still full of people, yet empty.

 

Classmates, fifty-six eyes, craved only numbers,

Ignorant of ALL but results.

Anything wouldn’t cause a blink,

We were hollow shells, devoid of characters and spirits.


The teacher's voice sliced through the silence,

A smile too bright, calling the victor’s name.

The golden girl rose, her aura shining,

Eclipsing all, she claimed her prize with grace.


“You are phenomenal, I am so proud of you and what you have achieved.” the teacher cheered.


Anxiety spiked with each name called.

When mine came in the 9th place, relief washed over me,

Warmth returned with applause and nods,

Grades restored my life,

MY LIFE.


After the names were called, one remained,

The teacher grimaced at the final page.

With a sigh, the bottom scorer stood alone,

A boy unseen, his steps heavy with dread.


His figure shrank under the weight of their stares,

His hand trembled as he reached for his fate.

The paper, torn by the teacher, his tears fell unhidden,

As taunts and jeers crowned him with their shame.


“Absolute failure, you don’t deserve to be in this class,” the teacher scorned.


He, marked forever by a score,

A void swallowing his joy.

Reputation, health, friends - scored and sorted.


The score dictated reputation.

The score dictated mental health

The score dictated the amount of friends 

The score dictated a good or bad person in life

 

Dignity hung by a thread, soon to be snipped by a few words,

Everyone’s scores were to be announced, 

the room's chaos stilled,

Silent, still full of people, yet empty.


Classmates, fifty-six eyes, craved only numbers,

Ignorant of ALL but results,

Anything wouldn’t cause a blink,

We were hollow shells with no personality.


The teacher's voice sliced through the silence,

A smile too bright, calling the victor’s name.

The golden girl rose, her aura shining,

Eclipsing all, she claimed her prize with grace.


“You are phenomenal, I am so proud of you and what you have achieved,” the teacher cheered.


Anxiety spiked with each name called.

When mine came in the 9th place, relief washed over,

Warmth returned with applause and nods,

Grades restored my life,

MY LIFE.


After the names were called, one remained,

The teacher grimaced at the final page.

With a sigh, the bottom scorer stood alone,

A boy unseen, his steps heavy with dread.


His figure shrank under the weight of their stares,

His hand trembled as he reached for his fate.

The paper, torn by the teacher, his tears fell unhidden,

As taunts and jeers crowned him with their shame.


“Absolute failure, you don’t deserve to be in this class,” the teacher scorned.


He, marked forever by a score,

A void swallowing his joy.

Reputation, health, friends - scored and sorted.


The score dictated reputation.

The score dictated mental health

The score dictated the amount of friends 

The score dictated a good or bad person 


For those at the bottom,

Self-esteem withers, fallen leaves in society's garden.

For those at the top,

Confidence blooms at the moment, but will never truly be there.


The author's comments:

 I discovered a lot of new details that were memories in my head that I never really thought about. The amount of humiliation that the bottom scorer endured, the tremendous amount of confidence gained from just one singular score for the girl. I have also revealed that I felt uneasy and unsure of the systems in my school and that it caused a lot of stress, and comparing the scores with others makes one party feel worthless and unable to gain back confidence. I wanted the reader to realize that this wasn’t a situation that could be fixed in a short amount of time and that perceptions and emotions are mostly twisted and dependent on scores, and it was a harsh and brutal reality that was seen as “normal”

I felt disgusted and disturbed by the school systems in China. I felt bad and sad for the kids who STILL have to endure all the embarrassment when the teacher publicly shamed them for their low scores. I feel that there is a need for change in the school and that announcements of scores should not be an opportunity for teachers to shame students. 


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