Panic attacks for me is like that first realization, then the panic starts to set in

I walk down the stairs to wake up my sleeping mother to tell her I’m shaking

She tells me to breathe but I can’t help but think how much I didn’t wanna go to school

The more she told me to breath in and out, the more I just breathed out

The more my lungs couldn’t fill

The more my lungs started to burn

The more my body felt as if it was in the microwave

The more it felt like this wasn’t actually happening

The more it felt like my neck was sweating bullets

The more the room felt like a house in the summer with no AC

I leave the room lightheaded, open the back door and let the 30 degree air on my skin

I take a seat with my mother and try to breathe

She puts her arm around me and feels the chill bumps on my arm from the ceiling fan

but I feel like a kid on a hot summer day without a pool