Sometimes I see you at the park.

The park where we’d fish till the sun went down, 

Till the training wheels on my bike turned brown. 

Where the birds would grow quiet and wait in the trees,

As they all watched me laugh and sit by your side:

Counting the ripples

That sit in the water,

And all of the leaves

That spin in the wind.

Sometimes I see you at that park,

With your calloused hands,

And patient smile 

That creases in the corners.

You're waiting there to wrap me up

In the blanket of your soft crackly voice

Repeating words of: 

“I love you”

Sometimes I see you in grocery lines,

Wearing your favorite hat and big brown boots,

Buying the ice cream you promised you’d buy.

The ice cream we’d eat with plastic spoons,

With sticky smiles and happy eyes, 

Speaking a million things without saying a word.

But maybe my mind was playing tricks, 

Because it knows you don’t exist 

And I know that you no longer go 

Fishing in parks and driving in cars,

Walking through stores or hugging me close.

How silly of me to think that I’d see you 

In parking lots or crowded streets. 

How foolish of me to wait for your call 

On my birthday night, or Christmas Eve.

How dare I pass by your old house

And wait for you to walk right out.

How foolish indeed 

How foolish of me.

But is it really that foolish to pretend you’re still here?

Because in my heart, deep inside, 

There’s a little girl who used to ride

Upon Abuelo’s shoulders up so high,

And that little girl 

Wishes to see 

Abuelo as more than a memory.

So when I see a little girl 

Perched on the shoulders of her Abuelo,

Screaming and laughing because she knows she won’t fall,

I can’t help but think of us. 

It’s like watching a film that I have seen 

Displayed on an old grainy, tainted screen. 

I am feeling my heart burn with jealousy.

I envy the girls who perch on the shoulders 

Of Abuelos who love them with each ounce of their heart.

I wonder if they know how lucky they are 

To be on the shoulders of someone so strong, 

Who loves them so dearly, so gently, so true 

Whenever I see it, I think of you. 

Except it is all quite funny to me

Because although you are now just a memory

And no longer around to tell me you love me

I somehow feel it every day. 

I know, I know, it’s silly of me 

To claim I feel the love of a ghost, 

From faded memories that come and go.

Except I swear I know it’s true, 

And I know deep down dad feels it too. 

Because when you love,

the way that you loved, 

It is impossible for that love

To ever leave you.