The clock ticks by… 1, 2, 3, 4 AM

I’m melting into my sheets wondering how I got here and how I’ll get there.

What comes after high school, how will I support myself, what does the future hold for me?

The daunting realization of existence, that I can’t just lay in bed, no, I have to wake up, pay my taxes, raise my two kids, pay off the house, retire…

 I have to breathe.

I have to step out of my head.

I pull myself away from the “big” and force myself to focus on the “small”.

Like the way people write little notes in the margin of their books or how we get excited to receive a package even though we already know what's in it. The way we find a new song and listen to it until it gets old and how we give each other flowers on special occasions.

And maybe the small things are not always happy.

Like the way you crave your mother's embrace when things go wrong, how elderly couples have to watch their soulmates wither away, and how the flowers they once gave you are now rotting in the vase on your kitchen counter.

5, 6, 7, 8 AM

It's time to get up, brush your teeth, wash your face, open the blinds, and throw away the flowers. 

That was the past, there will be a future, but this is the now.

It’s time to adore the small things.