If I sat up 
In this current moment,
I would feel as though
I'm looking at myself through a television screen.
To see me
Like a video game character
Living their everyday life.

I would be able to
Hear
Every thought,
Trickling,
Through every single pathway of my brain.

I would be able to
See,
Every single
Facial expression
And glance
And all of the things I am physically doing. 
All of the physical attributes,
Displaying,
"I don't feel like a person." 

Oh no,
I don't feel like a person.
I sat up. 
I can see myself. I can see
Every
Single
Movement of my body. 

I have to 
Manually
Breathe.
Blink. 

Inhale,
Exhale.

Open,
Close. 

Inhale,
Exhale. 

Until
I come back to myself 
But that may take hours,
Days,
A week?

I could explain this feeling, 
Like, 
Watching myself from inside my head. 
My eyes are literal windows to the outside. 

They are like the windows of my childhood barbie house,
But I'm Barbie.
And physical me is
Listening,
Waiting.
For my father to come upstairs.
To yell at me
For something
That is never going to be his way.

If I don't come back to myself,
If I don't manually
Breathe.
Blink.

Oh no.

Open.
Inhale.
Close.
Exhale.
Open.
Exhale.

"No that was the wrong order"

Inhale.
Close.
Open.
Exhale.
Exhale more.

"I feel dizzy."

I have to breathe.

Breathe.

Inhale,

Exhale.

Inhale...