The Sailed Ship of Innocence | Teen Ink

The Sailed Ship of Innocence

October 3, 2022
By andrewkim BRONZE, Singapore, Other
andrewkim BRONZE, Singapore, Other
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Do you guys remember when 

you made me believe?


How when I said I wanted the red 

toy car and it magically 


appeared under the Christmas tree 

that you two worked so hard to put up?


You guys didn’t tell me it was 

you who bought the car.


Do you guys remember

when you made me believe?


When you told me to put my tooth under my pillow 

for the tooth fairy will visit me?


The next day, I found bills under my pillow

all crumpled up.


Why didn’t the tooth fairy give me

neater bills?


Why were they so crumpled as if it was a 

struggle to put them under my pillow?


The tooth fairy doesn’t even fly 

across the night skies of the Korean peninsula 


yet you guys wanted me to believe, 

like all my American friends


that the tooth fairy and Santa truly existed.

Oh, and I believed. 


Before it was too late for Santa 

or the tooth fairy to exist in my mind,


I used to imagine a world 

where Santa flew his reindeer 


magically over my head laughing 

Ho Ho Ho and dipping his cookies in milk.


I used to imagine a world

where the tooth fairy flew, 


with glitters like Tinker Bell, across the night sky,

all before it was too late.


For loving and caring for me,

for allowing me to believe, like my American friends, 


before I could believe no longer,

thank you both.


Because at a certain point, believing magic 

like Santa or the tooth fairy, becomes


unfathomable.


impossible. 


Because the ship

                                    has

                                                  sailed. 


Far gone, the ship that carries 

my childish beliefs and wishes, 


once that ship has sailed

it can never 

                         come 

                                           back.

 

Do you guys remember the night of 

Christmas Eve at our hotel in Vegas?


You don’t, because you never knew that 

while I was looking for my socks 


inside your suitcase, I lost my innocence.

Santa no longer existed in my mind,


because the Lego set I found in your suitcase

was the very gift that “Santa” gave me the next day. 


After that, Santa could never get on his reindeer 

and make his way back to me,


just as the tooth fairy could never fly

and make her way back to me.


Because that ship of innocence

that contained my thoughts and wishes


of Santa, the tooth fairy, and just about 

anything else magical,


that

                  ship

                                   has

                                                   sailed.


The author's comments:

I am currently a student at the Singapore American School and wrote this poem for my Writing and Publication class. The theme I wanted to showcase was that of familial love, and I, myself, am the speaker of the poem. However, the 8-year-old me and the teenage me are almost in conversation or realization of one another because the current me is looking back at the moments of the 8-year-old me and finally realizes the efforts that my parents had put into making childhood magic true. I am someone who wants to let my parents know that I recognize their efforts, and that their efforts have not gone unnoticed. 


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