All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Always
There was nothing mathematical about the way that I loved you
There was nothing logical, or choreographed, or otherwise organized.
My love for you is chaos
Was chaos
Chaos with a vengeance
Chaos like a vortex in July
A fiery cascade of burning memory.
And I do love you
I promise
But you are not my happy ending
You were never my finish line
Or my conclusion paragraph
Or the end of this poem.
You were a cautionary tale
On the hubris of falling in love
Convincing me that you would catch me
And all the while you didn’t even know which ground to walk on.
Now my feet hit the earth half as hard as they used to.
Afraid the rug will be pulled away at any moment. Afraid of the fall.
You see I know you never loved me
At least not the way you made me believe.
The way my heart used to hurt when you were gone.
The way I would worry if I didn’t hear back for too long.
I’ve never cared that much before you see
And I didn’t know I could care that much
And it only makes it hurt that much more
To know you never did.
And I don’t know if I was just a friend to you, but friends don’t do the things we did.
Or perhaps I was a fling you always intended to toss to the wind
And I suppose that’s why they call it a fling
But I would’ve grown roots for you
I would’ve flown for you
Or taught myself how to dance
But the truth is you only needed me for the summer.
An entertainment too cheap to be television and I hate that I let myself weep over you.
Again and again and again
And the tears still haven’t dried from my bathroom floor
Or the sidewalks
But I’m learning to let go
Knowing my tears have more value than your memory of me.
I am opening my art show
An empty book
With enough room to write for every person I will ever love
And you are not the final poem in my history books.
You were barely the footnote in the autobiography.
You were just a reminder that love is the most dangerous thing you can ever do.
And that sometimes it takes all the strength you have left, to let go.
To dance to new songs
To visit new restaurants
Ask new questions
Teach yourself how to breathe again as if they didn’t take your lungs when they said they never loved you.
But I know I always loved you
It just wasn’t enough.
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 0 comments.