happiness is an illusion | Teen Ink

happiness is an illusion

July 17, 2022
By swaggyserr SILVER, Paris, Tennessee
swaggyserr SILVER, Paris, Tennessee
7 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

some days i float amongst the stars, shining brighter than any of them.
i am loved. i am tranquil. i am happy.
i sit with the man on the moon and we talk until our hearts combust.
as i am here i realize i am home.
other days a blinding light starts to breach the horizon and i hear a whisper,
"your happiness is an illusion."
withing seconds the moon, the stars, and the galaxy disappear.
and i am
i am hated. i am lost. i am empty.
i sit with my beasts and they whisper horrid antics in my ear.
as i am here i realize i will never be home.

The author's comments:

i have untreated bpd and it is the most draining, horrible thing to live with. i have been so depressed that i couldn't leave my bed and pissed everywhere and ive been so manic that i felt like a completely new person who could never feel another bad feeling ever. this poem represents how i feel when transitioning from a manic episode to a depressive episode. 

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