You hung up again 

Same as the last three nights 

But tonight something was different

The quiet was awfully loud 

The sounds of my thoughts booming like mortar fire

My fan humming like a chopper transporting a wounded soldier 

My breath long and slow 

Echoing in my lungs like a cave yet to be disturbed by the atrocities of mankind 

I am struggling to ask you some questions 

Why did you find yourself so at home with my thoughts? 

Boom 

How did you find your way into my padlocked heart? 

Boom 

What made you want to open the door to my soul after I explained to you the battlefield that is my life? 

Boom 

Am I mistaking friendship for romantic interest? 

Boom 

Mortar fire leaving craters the size of the curiosity I have for your plans for me

Because I have no intentions of being 

The boyfriend when he can't be 

The one time fling or anything in between 

I would be a fool to believe that I deserve you but I know I can be everything that you need. 

So please leave me a map to your heart 

Show me how to water the garden of your self-confidence 

Give me the key to your admiration 

Let me tour the cracks left behind by those who were not worthy 

Pull out the skeletons in your closet so we can dance with them until they no longer scare you

Show me how to love you and your heart will become my home 

Show me how to trust you and a day without me you will not know 

Show me your scars so I know where to plant tender kisses and show me the parts of yourself that you do not dare to love because I will