Who I’ll Be

Who am I?

Where to begin…

Start at the top or in the basement

There’s no easy line

No easy word

Just a few hundred syllables

My heart is always pounding with fire

Crackling my experiences in my lungs

My head whirls like a tornado

Tossing and turning each way

Getting deep into the water

Makes me fear myself

What if I am continued to be held down?

Will I drown?

I am one who does not exist

Words tremble on these lips

That I did not want to create

I can’t control everything I say

I am one who feels

Finds everything a little too real

Crawling back into my shell

My heads a cavity, oh how I fell

If you were to take my hand

I’d smile and take it but then I’d cry

I tend to find

A way to make good things die

It’s not all my fault you see,

I am built from tragedies

A shattered cup

Angry beasts

I’m trying to grow from a pot of defeat

A shadow and a cloud

Above and behind me now

Cannot escape the fate that’s been placed

But I run, I run

Try to fly

Growing from dead nutrients

There’s hope in the flies

That swarm my decaying body

The shell of the person I have become

I am nothing, no one

But these thoughts should succumb

To die is to let go

To forget every broken bone

Every lie and every cry and all the texting on the telephone

A shiver travels up my spine

A feeling I always deny

There’s nothing to worry about

Nothing to see

All I am

Is who I’ll be