And I don't remember much / but I can still recall the fear in my voice as I woke up my mom / because you said you were done and for all the darkness I'd faced / nothing prepared me for you wanting to walk away / I'd lost you that much was true but that didn't mean I could lose you too /  and I was 13 years old wearing shoes too big trying to save everyone / a lifeboat forged of flesh and bone /  both candle and match / sail and mast / an army of one waging war on depression / armed with desperation instead of a weapon

And I can't remember your smile /  (it's been a while) / but I can still feel fear's fist on my heart as the panic set in / half an hour away / am I already too late / I cried myself to sleep that night hugging a pillow tight / I had to sleep in my brother's room and turn on a night light / and I prayed / really prayed / for the first time in my life / that it'd be okay / that you'd be all right / that I would get you through tonight / that I could get you to tomorrow /  that we would see tomorrow / tomorrow

(Everything I'd give to just get you to tomorrow / A night of sleep / Two nights of sleep / My dignity / And chocolate milk / Three nights of sleep / Every night of sleep / Yesterday / And every day before it / Every laugh and every smile / Each memory of you and me)

just hold on until tomorrow

And I can't remember what you said to me /  but it broke me can't you see /  I traded me for them and then you made me do it all again /  but I wouldn't change a thing because /  I can still see the stars in the sky as I hugged my chest / and rocked back and forth / willing my phone to ring / for you to call / for you to respond / for you to be alright / for you to still be alive

And I don't remember much / but I know I lost you / I really did lose you / and the you you are now is a stranger / truly / and I've never been more thankful than I am that I don't know you / I could never be more thankful than I am that you lived long enough / to outgrow me / to unknow me / we are perfect strangers / death did not make a time capsule of you / and nothing is as it was / except the fact that I can't remember much