I had one day dreamed of killing myself

I had it planned

The note was written

and the letter was sealed

The impulse was there

The thought behind it was also

but

Today my friend overdosed for the second time

I called her sister

She called her mom

She was taken to the hospital

Again

Last time she overdosed it was at school

She liked the attention she had said,

being carried away on a stretcher and taken to the hospital,

where they made her digest charcoal to absorb the medication

She would later tell me about this during her stay in the mental hospital

A place where people scratched and did crack

She said she was one of the worst there

I almost didn’t believe her

I, blank have a friend who is more mentally unstable than anyone else in the mental hospital

Gee! Doesn’t that make me feel special

Her parents must love me

Every time i’ve had to warn them that their daughter might be dead in the morning

really made them thankful

and really made them love me

I’m not complaining

My friend is still alive

for now at least, I think

I started out wishing I was dead

to a suicide hotline for my friend

Though if I wasn’t here, she’d have no one to give a letter to

I was lucky to receive

While my scars are now as big as hers

I can’t wish for my death any longer