Sometimes I feel like everyone hates me

I don’t get as many compliments as I expect,

Though it’s bad to stay confident

Humble is tender

and tender is caring

and those who care are loved

I wake up from my 3-5 insomniac monster

Tired from a night of work

I start my day by putting on clothes

These clothes fit me in all the wrong places,

tight at the waist but big in the ass

I desperately puff the back of my jeans

I know my clothes now don’t matter because this weekend i’ll go shopping for more

Ones that will fit me and make me look beautiful

Same as last week

same as the week before

But I still hate all my clothes

I drink my tea, tiktok says it will make me skinny and help my digestive system

I’ve grown tolerant as the hash under my bed has grown tolerant to me

My stomach aches have gone away

I find this sad

But I grab my tea from the microwave anyway

Because heaven knows I don’t have time to start the kettle

I put on makeup

Places puffy from rolling on my face in the night are covered with an elegant cream, a dash of glimmer and a blotch of rosy red

I pass my self as acceptable and walk out my bedroom door

I shove my mask and phone in my pockets before popping in my headphones to listen to a playlist

The collection belongs to the boy next to me in my math class

Maybe if I like these songs, he’ll like me too

I check my phone notifications before putting on my shoes

Drained clean like a California stream in a drought,

there was nothing to be read

But then again

sometimes everyone just hates you