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Water Lies
September 7, 2021
Walls so many walls,
Caving in,
Their caving in.
Tight squeeze,
Hard to breathe.
Shallow water,
Begins it's rise,
Rise oh rise,
Sink oh sink.
I'm drowning deep,
Deep below,
Oh deep below.
No more life,
In these eyes,
Drowning in the lies.
© Juliana E., Walton, Kentucky
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 2 comments.
SparrowSun ELITE said...
on Sep. 10 2021 at 9:27 pm
I want to cry but maybe thats just because i edit to much. SERIOUSLY: commas exist for a reason! grammatically
'Walls so many walls' should either be 'Walls, so many walls' or maybe 'Walls- so many walls' thats the first example. also you used their when you meant they're. do i edit to much? or not enough?
generally the laws of grammar dont apply with poetry, but you cant entirly disregard them or it reads awkward and clumsy.
still no word from my english teacher on poetry careers.
beautiful poem tho. if i were able to unsee the grammatical errors this would be perfect.
'Walls so many walls' should either be 'Walls, so many walls' or maybe 'Walls- so many walls' thats the first example. also you used their when you meant they're. do i edit to much? or not enough?
generally the laws of grammar dont apply with poetry, but you cant entirly disregard them or it reads awkward and clumsy.
still no word from my english teacher on poetry careers.
beautiful poem tho. if i were able to unsee the grammatical errors this would be perfect.
This poem talks about how when your anxieties get the best of you, you may feel that it's drowning you even when it's small.