Rebecca’s party was too loud and crowded for my liking

so I ran back to my house, laid in the meadow,

and started crying.

The booming music trailed off behind me 

and I slowly started to feel like I could actually breathe again. 

The moon sighed and watched me in disappointment

as I left and blew my chance of actually being social. 

The insects felt pity for me too.

Going to this party was a mistake 

for which my introverted self, bit off more than what I could chew.

The flowers in the meadow greeted me with a big hug

as the Kansas City fall air 

played with my hair and reassured me that everything was alright.

I sought refuge right near the precious seeds of my soon to be apple tree.

The seeds that I planted weeks ago still have not sprouted.

Maybe they just don’t want to come out and say hello to the world.

Maybe they just want to stay in solitude forever.

I couldn’t help but chuckle because that sounds awfully a lot like me.

There are occasions where I do come out of my shell.

But that’s more like once in twenty lifetimes

and today was not that time. 

I noticed myself falling down a spiral in my head. 

I started to ponder on questions like, 

How do I interact?

Do I look weird when I do this or that?

Why do my conversations always fall flat?

I feel like I’m being walked all over on like a doormat.

I try to think of ways to fix this but my mind just goes… splat.

Just as I thought I was trapped in this spiral forever

the chirping crickets cut through my thoughts and pulled me back to reality. 

I wish I could be a turtle in my shell for all eternity

Maybe I could live somewhere quiet like near a lonely lake. 

I laid down on the ground, picking petals off the flowers

each one representing me trying to find the willpower 

to find some hope in this dark hour.