I fell, and as a doe

I romanced the abstraction of you

But became blinded and oblivious to predators

Your fractured button nose, your poisonous giggle

And I bonded to your arms and designated you as a love

I unlatched my door and you adored my personal decor

But I opine your only motivation to return was to 

Impress my thin lips

Warm and distress my frozen hands;

My faltered route that was permitting you to "love" me,

I know I loved you.

We fantacized and painted a path we could not walk, but only stumble

I wanted the journey but you grew tired and resilient

You beat me to repair, apologize, and shift to submission so my mind would recognize the abuse as normality

I weeped my sorrys, endeavored to remedy your heart

But defaulted to realize I cannot rectify your insecurities

I know I loved you.

Your imprint left my remembrance blurred

Although, I am now aware you held me by a string since the twelfth of June.

But how am I to deny a love at a vulnerable fourteen? 

Deny your gaze, your transparent flattery and intimacy?

But you fell out half-way and failed to notify me

You left my house without a forewarning a no-return

You left your doe in the headlights

Testifying the automoblie as the killer instead.

Do not dwell, because your presence was more than influential

You taught me how to hate

How to harm and leave scars on my pretty hands, a forever part of the trauma

How to apologize for your flaws and

How to drown everyday

Wondering how I am underwater,

Wondering how I lost you

Although I know I loved you.