Trapped in Childhood

The shouting of your voice,
And the rage in your eyes,
If I spoke a word,
It would only get worse.
The charcoal scent of the burning rice,
That you left just to lecture me,
Or at least that’s what you called it.
I beg to leave,
But you deny my request,
Tell me I deserve this cruelty,
That I did it to myself.
I scramble to the door,
Only to have your hand reach for my wrist,
And grab it until it turns red,
Pulling me toward you,
Bearing your teeth.
You get close to my face,
And tell me quietly to stop being disrespectful,
That I should respect your wishes,
Because you’re the mother,
Birthgiver,
Whatever you want to be called at this point.
To you,
You can never be wrong.
You could never be abusive or unruly,
You thought you were a reasonable parent.

How delusional are you?

I felt so confined in a place I should’ve been able to call home,
I was never able to be free without repercussions,
But because of you, I was backed into a corner,
Like a scared puppy,
Unable to bite back,
Even though I wanted to.
I fought back every day,
Trying to survive,
Through your pain and misery,

That you would endow onto me.
I’m free now though,
I defied your odds,
I call so many other places home,
But never where I grew up.
I may have been trapped back then,
But you can’t control me anymore,
Now I can have what I’ve always wanted,
The freedom to be me.