for years now, i have wanted you. the desire heightening every single time i see you; pangs of longingness rippling through my chest. and now that i have you, everything feels ordinary. the excitement has vapourised, leaving me unsatisfied and confused for nothing about you is plain old ordinary. but that’s how it feels now. and i wish, oh how i wish, i could go back in time and experience once more those fleeting moments that left me against a wall, shaking with a ragged breath. for that is what i loved about you– your unnerving effect on me. it made me feel things, an amalgamation that i’ve never felt before…confusion, anxiety, nervousness, ecstasy and pain; an emotional catharsis. but i f***ing loved it, every single part. maybe making you mine just wasn’t enough. maybe, just maybe, i’m a sucker for that raw desire and longingness. maybe, i love insecurity.